Identity & Heritage

Some of the conflict and differences between me, Dee and Maggie is our own perspectives in our identity and our heritage. First, my identity is a large scale woman who can do a man's job and a woman's job. I am a black woman who knows what it's like to live a hard life, but that life is what made me who I am. How do I see my heritage? I see it was appreciating all the hard work that others before me like my sister, my mother, my grandmother, my great-grandmother and so on. I appreciate the hard work that my uncles and grandfather's put into making things for the house, for everyone to use every day. It's small things that everyone did, like others before them, that helped us survive and live a good life, even if that life did not measure up to what others would describe as a good life.
Dee's identity is a woman who grew up in a world with many limitations and barriers and she was and is strong enough to break through them. She took the meager things she was given and made them into useful possessions of hers. She is also a follower of the latest trends in fashion. She likes to be "cool" and "in style" and she has been since she was younger. Her heritage is something she thinks she can appreciate in possessions, not in thought and remembrance. It's safe to say that I, Dee and Maggie liked the quilts, but all in different ways.
Maggie's identity is defined by the scars on her body. She hides from people, even her sister, because she is ashamed of what her body looks like. She doesn't like to get attention drawn to her and she only speaks up when absolutely necessary. Maggie's heritage is similar to mine. We both appreciate the hard work that was put into "things", but Maggie appreciates the people who made them more then the actual "thing". Take for example the quilts. Maggie really wanted the quilts, not for the use of them, but for the memory of her grandmother. While she would have wanted the quilts to remember her grandma, Maggie can easily remember her with out them.
Me and Maggie are used to the older way of life, and we do things and live our lives similar to those before us. This way of life works for us. Dee on the other hand feels trapped in the old fashioned way of life and wants out as soon as possible. She wants the possessions of our heritage, but wants no part in living out our heritage.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/30741/the_women_in_alice_walkers_short_story.html?page=2

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/45237/black_america_and_double_consciousness.html

Do I really know Dee...?

As some have pointed out, I may have had some misunderstandings not only with my oldest daughter Dee, but with my youngest daughter Maggie. Lets start with Maggie. In the beginning when I state:

Maggie will be nervous until after her sister goes: she will stand hopelessly in corners homely and ashamed of the burn scars down her arms and legs, eyeing her sister with a mixture of envy and awe. She thinks her sister has held life always in the palm of one hand, that "no" is a word the world never learned to say to her.

This is not me putting my fears upon Maggie. You can't deny that Maggie hides in the doorway while I wait outside for Dee to arrive. After she gets out there she makes a mad dash to get back in the house when Dee arrives. She doesn't bother to shake the hand of the strange man that Dee brought with her. While Dee was visiting in the house, Maggie stayed in the kitchen washing instead of being out and about with her sister. Maggie can come out and present herself, like she does when Dee attempts to take the quilts that were promised to Maggie, but most the time she would rather just be simple and not draw attention to herself.

Dee also acts in ways that prove my understanding of her. When I prepare for Dee's arrival, it's exactly how I would prepare for any visitor's arrival. Everyone likes for the house and the yard to be clean, and when there is nothing else to do but wait, that's what you do. When I say that Dee lives in a world that never tells her "no", I was also correct, that's until I told her to take some of the others quilts because the one's she wanted were being saved for Maggie. Dee has always been different from me and Maggie. She never really got to know us because she was gone after high school. She never really accepted me and Maggie the way she may have accepted others who were educated and "stylish" like she is. But every mother wants to be accepted by their daughter which makes for the significance of the Johnny Carson dream. I know how Dee wants me to be and act, but I can. It's not who I am. When I say "I used to think she (Dee) hated Maggie.." Yes that was before the money was raised to send Dee off to school. Once Dee got the money to get out of here she was nice to everyone and loved everyone because they did something for her. I guess that somewhat of human nature. If someone does something nice for you, generally you will like them. That is the same way for Dee.

It is also critiqued how I turned my back on the new house. It was after all a replica of the old one except for the tin roof. It's true I did believe that Dee would hate this house as much as the old one that burned down. That was until Dee came about with her "getting closer to her heritage feddish". If it was not the fad to get closer to your heritage, there is no doubt that Dee would have hated the house as much as the old one. Her way of thinking is different in this visit then it was when the old house burned down.

One knows when they see hatred and relief on their daughter's face when watching the only home they know burning down. I didn't imagine Dee's embarrassment toward Maggie when she was seen with Maggie all scared up. Could I have exaggerated my feelings behind what my daughters say and do? Possibly, but not likely.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2455/is_2_35/ai_83585372?tag=rbxcra.2.a.3

Independent Black Woman

An independent black woman is who I am. I raised two daughters by myself. I can do a mans job, such as catching and cooking a hog, yard work and building. I can do a woman's work such as cleaning, sewing, caring for the children. I surpasses all the hardships that have been put in front of me. Raising children by one's self is not the typical thing for people to do back in the day. After losing my husband I was forced to do all this on my own in order to survive and care for our children. In doing so I may have become the woman that Dee has come to dislike to a certain extent, and a woman that Maggie has come to love and look up to.
Dee sees me as the woman who doesn't add up to the rest of society. I am the essence of a small town woman who has no education and I'm bound by my choices in life. Those choices include living the simple country life. I am a big woman with manly hands, nothing like Dee who is small, confident and has soft feminine features.
Maggie looks at me for who I am, not what I look like. I protect Maggie from the people she tries so hard to shield herself from. I teach her the life skills she needs to raise a family and build a home. I share with her the memories of our ancestors and the hard work and love they put into simple things we use everyday for survival, such as the butter churn, or the quilts.
While all three of us have many differences, we have all become independent black women in our own way.
http://www.helium.com/items/805377-alice-walker-georgia-everyday

Our heritage exists in spirit

Me and Maggie are very similar in how we are connected with our heritage and our ancestor roots. Our heritage exists in spirit where as Dee's exists in things that she can possess. Me and Maggie are ordinary black women. We grow and garden our own plants and lead simple lives. We've had no education besides the domestic survival needs that are passed down from one generation to another. We learn the necessities such as gardening, cooking and cleaning. We make things for ourselves everyday. They mean something to use because we put the hard work and love into making them, such as the quilt that I, my mother and my sister stitched together. We see the importance in them. Dee on the other hand only see our things as possessions that are "fashionable" at the time. Dee may never see our heritage through our perspective. It's also unfortunate that Dee only recognizes our heritage in this way. If as she says, she changes her name to Wangero mumble-jumble to be closer to her heritage, she could have saved herself the effort and kept the name she was born with, for she was named after her aunti who helped make the quilts she was after. If she wasn't so superficial in getting closer to her heritage, she would have realized that she already was. And to make matters worse, she isn't even dressing, acting or nameing herself like our true heritage. She is dressing, acting and nameing herself from Africanism that is in fashion, not true heritage. In her attempts to get "closer" to her heritage she is only drifting farther and farther away.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2455/is_n2_v33/ai_20831941?tag=rbxcra.2.a.1

"Mama dislikes Dee.."

I have seen people write, 'Mama loves both her daughters, but dislikes Dee'. While I can see how one could come to that assumption, it's simply not true. It's true yes I do love both my daughters, but I also like Dee. Of course she may not make the best of choices when it comes to her priorities, and she may be a victim of popular culture, but those qualities are what makes her who she is. Her path in life is very different then the path that Maggie's and my path in life has been. Many would get the assumption of my disliking of Dee because of how I took the quilt from Dee and gave it to Maggie. I did this for two reasons. First, I promised it to Maggie, and I have been saving it for her for when she moves out to raise her own family. I had offered some to Dee in prior years and she refused to take them because they were old fashioned. Second, Dee wouldn't use it in the way that it was made to be used. It was made by our ancestors to keep us warm. It was not made to be hung on a wall to be used as a conversation piece to entertain others. Me and Maggie understand that the quilt means more to us and our ancestors then Dee could possibly fathom. That is why Maggie received the quilt. It was not done out of dislike for Dee, but out of love for my ancestors and Maggie.

http://www.enotes.com/everyday-use